the ZuppeQueen Chronicles

Off-site report: This article is being filed from the Baltimore International Airport as I patiently wait for my flight to San Antonio.  

I am sitting here on a mezzanine next to the food court overlooking boarding gate 2 of Southwest Airlines.  to my right is a medium sized plain latte I have been sipping and all arround me there are at least 7 other people all working on their computers just as I am doing.  I can see the ZuppeQueen two hundred feet away at the coffee kiosk grabbing herself a Mucho-ChocoRific Mocha or something that is far too complicated for my brain to embrace. 

It was not that long ago travel by airplane was a simple undertaking.  Today it is a complicated undertaking to say the least.  Though I must honestly admit I find it far less stressful flying today than the flying I endured 15 years ago.  Way back then I lived in Houston Texas and I traveled almost weekly with my job.  So, I had come to know that my house was exactly 19 minutes from the airport and if all went well I could actually be waiting to board my plane 40 minutes after leaving the house after driving the loop, parking the car, shuttle bussing to the terminal, and clearing security.  I was a seasoned traveler and I had boarding airplanes late down to an art.    So why was it stressful for me to fly when I seemed so practiced?  It was because I did indeed have it down to an art form and I thought it was normal to always be rushing about trying to improve my record for cutting it close boarding airplanes.  I felt I was in a race and I did not know why.  That made flying stressful.  Well afterall, what was I supposed to think?  That is how we all learned to be a passenger, by watching television or movies.  No one told me different and I did not figure it out for a long time.  

Well now today, the radical Muslim terrorists and the federal government have helped me to see the error of my past ways.  Nowadays boarding an airplane has matured into a very complicated serious process.  There is no more rushing through airports O.J. Simpson style.  That is no longer considered cool and is almost certainly guaranteed to attract unwanted air marshal attention.  

Airline travel is still a good experience for me but it is also perplexing to me.  I find it a strange diacotomy of complicated and simple all at the same time.  for instance, each step of the boarding process must be performed correctly and in the correct order or you simply will not board that plane.  That’s ok; I appreciate feeling safe as possible while in the air.  Not too surprisingly air travel began feeling difficult to me when a lot of people seemed to get angry and frustrated at all of the airport drama suddenly thrust upon the air traveler.  I still remember feeling frustrated by all of the confusion revolving around the ”new and improved” airport security process.   About this time I began to watch the faces of the airport workers.  I could see they were not having fun either.  In fact nobody at the airport seemed to be having fun.

That very moment is when it dawned on me that this whole messy situation is exactly what the terrorists wanted to happen.  How sick is that anyway?  So, the ZuppeKing and ZuppeQueen decided to fight back.  We decided to beat the terrorists at their own game and so we talked it over.  It was decided that we should begin enjoying air travel no matter how complicated or frustrating it seemed to be.  We resolved ourselves to always try being Zen like and to learn to go with the “flow” of things.  We decided to be like water…  

#8 The Taoism of Water

The best of man[kind] is like water,
Which benefits all things, and does not contend with them,
Which flows in places that others disdain,
Where it is in harmony with the Way.      -LaoTze - TaoDeJing

We wanted harmony in our air travel.  So, behaving like water, being gentle and putting forth the effort to get in harmony with airline travel is exactly what we began to do.  These days plenty of time is allowed to get to the airport.  We wait patiently in lines and smile at people around us.  We try to always thank airport personnel for doing their jobs and give them a smile because we understand they are the ones keeping us safe while we passengers sit back and relax and of course, wait.  It has become my personal goal to get through the entire check in process without frustration.  And, everytime that happens I feel really good inside sort of like I might have just used my left hand to pick my nose in front of the radical Muslim terrorists of the world. 

So, that is why I am sitting here 40 minutes before my departure writing this blog and enjoying a decaf low-fat latte in bright sunny Baltimore International airport.  I am feeling great and I am feeling relaxed.  In fact, I am happy and I am not at all frustrated.  The ZuppeQueen and I are totally cool water.   And because of that I am convinced that because I have less stress and anxiety in my life I am going to live a lot longer.  I think I’m going to spend those extra years of life I just gained by figuring out a way to eliminate terrorism so I won’t have to wait so long in airports.